I feel like my blog has become pretty boring lately. Nothing but aimless rambling and a few pictures of the same old projects, with only an inch or so knitted on. So today, I have a special presentation for you. You've heard of Point/Conterpoint? Well, I am happy to bring you "Point/Doublepoint", with our hosts, (mostly) Self-Taught Knitter and Clover DPN. Our topic today, Yarn Addiction, or "When a Pretty Stash becomes a Problem".
(mostly) Self-Taught Knitter: Clover, welcome to the blog.
Clover DPN: Thank you, I'm happy to be here.
(m)S-TK: Yarn addiction and excessive stashes seem to be a hot topic in blog-land these days. Why do you think that is?
CDPN: Well, yarn addictions build slowly over time. It starts with a skein here and a ball there, a pretty hank of sock yarn. Next thing the knitter knows, she is finding yarns she can't remember buying, and running into major yarn storage problems. The new year seems to be the perfect time to face this addiction head on and do something about it.
(m)S-TK: So what you're saying is, a knitter can find themselves deep in the throws of a yarn addiction before they even realize they have a problem.
CDPN: Right you are. Yarn addictions are silent and quick. You often don't realize you have a problem until you find yourself choosing to eat Raman Noodles for a week and spending your grocery budget on lace-weight silk.
(m)S-TK: How can one identify a yarn addiction?
CDPN: My advice is to set up a spreadsheet and catalog your stash. This way, one glance will tell you exactly what you have.
(m)S-TK: Oh yes, I've done that. It's a great organizational tool!
CDPN: Did you find yarns you didn't even know you had.
(m)S-TK: Ummm, well, maybe a couple. Not many though.
CDPN: That's the first sign. Once your spreadsheet is complete, calculate the total yardage and see if the number is much bigger than you expected.
(m)S-TK: (defensively) Yeah, so, mine was. I'm sure that's normal though, right?
CDPN: There is no room for "normal" when dealing with yarn addiction. Did you then convert your yarn yardage into miles? What was that number.
(m)S-TK: Now, come on, Clover, that's quite a personal question. It's like asking my age or my weight.
CDPN: It sounds like you feel you have something to hide. Does the number embarrass you?
(m)S-TK: Well, maybe it was a bit larger than I expected, but I certainly don't have a stash problem!!!!!
CDPN: Jane Karen, you ignorant slut yarn floozy!!! You are in the deepest throws of a yarn addiction! I had a peek at your spreadsheet, and we both know you could spend almost a month knitting a mile of yarn a day and still have some stash left over. My advice to you, admit you have a problem and get into a stash-along program immediately!!
(m)S-TK: Now listen hear, you pointy headed twig, those stash-alongs are madness! No yarn buying for months at a time? Some with only one free day during the entire span. Are you crazy? No knitter could live with that!!
CDPN: Yes, any knitter can! Plenty of knitters are signing up and can only benefit from this "group therapy". I can help you through it.
(m)S-TK: Pthhhhhhbbbtttttt. I don't need your stinking help. I'm just fine. I'll try to knit more for my stash, yes, but I'm not signing up for any crazy yarn diet!!
CDPN: Oh Karen, until you face your demons and admit you have a problem, there is nothing I can do to help you.
(m)S-TK: Well, you know what, I think we're out of time for today. Clover, uuuhh, (mumbles sarcastically) thanks for your time.
CDPN: I only wish I could have done more to help you.