Friday, May 09, 2008

Whine, moan and complain . . .

So, I haven't been around much. No blogging in over a week, not much commenting and e-mails that are few and far between. What gives?

The pump is kinda kicking my butt. When I first got hooked up, I was getting lots and lots of low blood sugars. They make me feel fuzzy and it's very hard to concentrate. Ugh. After 2 weeks it was time for my follow-up appointment and the doctor changed some settings. This brought mornings that were mostly good, afternoons and evenings that were low, and nights where my blood sugar would skyrocket up as I slept. Turns out, that's very exhausting and I'd wake up feeling achy and hung-over (without the fun night out to make up for feeling like crap in the morning). I called the doctor, and we have a third round of settings to try. Fingers crossed, things may start to even out now.

Although that last paragraph doesn't show it, I'm actually not as discouraged as you might imagine. I do love my pump, and it's already made things much easier - even with those scary lows and icky highs. I know it can take a month or more to figure out what settings will work for me, and each setting we try brings us closer to where we need to be. In the long run, it's so worth it.

Since no post is complete without a picture, here's an old picture of my sweet Charlie. Yup, just because he's gone doesn't mean I can't keep making you admire him!!

It's actually three months today since we lost him, and he's been on my mind more than ever. I miss him just as much as I did in February. I think I'm driving Pea crazy because I keep saying I wish he could come back. I second guess every thing I did for him, and I wonder if I could have helped him more if I had done something differently. I will probably always feel like I somehow failed him.

See, I told you. Moaning and complaining about the pump and the blood sugars, followed by whining about my Charlie. I promise, I've gotten it out of my system now. Just hang in with me a bit longer, and I'll be back with knitting (I hope - I haven't had much energy for knitting lately either), a wonderful contest prize I received from a dear pal, and the specs on all that yarn I bought at WEBS!


Jessica said...

Oye. It's bad enough when I do that to myself with the blood sugar stuff when I'm stupid (read: eat or drink bad things without the good stuff to compensate ;)). No wonder you haven't been feeling up to par. Sounds like you're definitely starting to zero in though, which will be very good in the end.

And hey, you are totally allowed to be still missing Charlie. He was such a sweetie! But I'm sure you did everything you could have done for him. Sometimes we just can't control all that we'd like.

Hope you get back to knitting and feeling better real soon!

Sonya said...

It's amazing how much blood sugar effects how you feel. Same thing for hormones for that matter. I hope the 3rd adjustment is a charm and it all evens out.

Charlie certainly was a handsome guy, wasn't he? Easy to see why you miss him. Stop second guessing yourself though. You gave him a tremendous amount of love and did everything that could be done.

I'm ready for details on your Webs haul!

jessica said...

thanks for the picture of him, such a sweetie. I know its totaly fine and normal to be missin him. Don't second guess yourself, you did everyting you could! He had a wonderful life in your home, you made him part of your family, and he was loved!

I hope you figure things out with your pump, tricky little bugger!

I miss you and your posts, so I will welcome you back when you get the knitting bug again!

Alisha said...

I hope the pump levels get to were they are working the best for you soon!

Charlie was a sweetie. I love how you were not a cat person before (at least I think I remember reading that....correct me if I am wrong) and that he totally converted you to the dark side!! He'll always hold a special place in your heart!

kathy b said...


Atta girl. You hang in there during this transitionall you \adjustment time. Im so proud of you. Charlie is too! Im so sorry youve felt so lousy. Here's to the new plan. Im glad that overall you are happywith the pump.
Now you get over that Charlie guilt right now. You were wonderful to him; and his job was to make you want another some day . Then you'll save 2 cats.

Sourire11 said...

It's ok - we're here for you during the unhappy posts as well as during the happy ones. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it lately. Don't second guess yourself, though - you did everything you possibly could.

Hope things are look up for you soon!

Kristin said...

Hang in there!! I hope things get better soon! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh sweetheart if only I had the words to say to help you through this difficult time. Of course you know in the long run things will be normalized with your pump, and that time will eventually mend the hole left in your heart by Charlie's absence, but it sure doesn't make it much easier right now does it?

Here's my big virtual hug {{HUG}} to help you through for a little while.

Qutecowgirl said...

Feel free to whine moan and complain away.

thegabbyknitter said...

I hope the pump gets all figured out soon and your feeling like yourself again soon!

knitseashore said...

I'm sorry that you're not feeling well, but I'm glad to read that you've got a positive attitude about adjusting the settings and know that you are going to feel better soon.

Charlie was so handsome. It's great that you are posting photos of him. He's still a part of your life. :)

Zonda said...

((hugs)) hoping you feel better and get the settings adjustments that'll finally work well for you :)

Macoco said...

I hope you're feeling better about things. Hang in there with the pump!

Ariel said...

You're not moaning and complaining - you're shareing what's going on in your life and managing to maintain a positive attitude through the difficult adjustment period. Hoping you find the right spot soon! And know that we're here for your "downs" as well as the "ups". Take care.

Ragan Knits etc... said...

We will listen to moaning and complaining!!! Everyone HAS to do this now and again! And, well, you have lots of reasons right we are all listening and there for moral support! Hang in there. I hope that things with your pump even out soon. And Charlie, well, my thoughts are with you on him. :-) Take care.
Sending lots of hugs.

Jennifer said...

I hope the settings are figured out soon for you.

Grieving can take a long time. I still miss my cat Ashe who passed away 2 years ago. I grieve for Wiji too.

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