Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lucky

***  I wrote this post for my diabetes blog, so some of the terms may not be familiar (like bolus, endo, etc).  But it's about something very important that is going on in my life right now, so I wanted to share it here too.  Thanks for reading. ***

I have diabetes . . . and I'm lucky.

I count and weight and measure . . . and I'm lucky.

I prick and jab and bleed . . . and I'm lucky.

I inject and pump and bolus . . . and I'm lucky.

I walk and dance and (occasionally) lift some weights . . . and I'm lucky.

I'm lucky because I have options. I have choices. Yes, sometimes I slip. Other times, I make all the best choices and the numbers are still off. But that's okay. I can correct . . . adjust . . . make my next choice a better one.

My uncle has been battling cancer. He's had multiple surgeries, chemo, treatments and procedures. Last week the doctors said it still isn't working. He is out of options. There are no more choices. There is nothing left to try. No reason left to fight.

So today, I know I am lucky. I'll go to my endo appointment tomorrow. If my A1C doesn't meet my secret expectation of well under 6.5, I won't let myself get upset this time. I'll be thankful for my choices and thankful for my options. I'll remember how lucky I am . . . and fight some more.

18 comments:

lynda said...

I admire your outlook. Good for you - you go girl!

We too often can get on the pity bandwagon, until something like what your uncle is going thru smacks us upside the head. I'm sorry to hear about his struggle. My FIL is in the same boat... hardly a choice left to him anymore either. A hard realization.

Noeysmommy said...

What a lovely post. I will remember your post when I'm feeling down. I'm so sorry about your uncle. I will keep him in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

*HUGS* What a great post. I always love your positive outlook! We can all learn a lot from you.

Qutecowgirl said...

Hugs


I too get down on myself when the pain is bad or my body is revolting against what I want to do, I remember my father who also had RA and died from it and how lucky I am that mine was caught early and that most likely will not happen and my joints will hopefully be saved and I will not have to go threw multiple joint replacements and I remember how lucky I am too.

KT said...

I like the way you're reacting to the situation. It's a very positive way to think. I get how you feel.

Sonya said...

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. It must be terrifying to know that there are no more options. But I'm glad you have lots of options and you appreciate that you have options.

Happyplace. said...

Karen, I'm so sorry about your Uncle. I hate to hear about anybody having to fight Cancer. But your outlook about Diabetes is awesome; it is options that keep us all moving forward!

Zonda said...

Sniff...great post! Sorry about your Uncle! You have a great outlook on yourself, the best part is you take care of yourself, I see too many patients that don't. (hugs)

Sourire11 said...

Great Post! And Great attitude. I'm so sorry for your uncle, though.

Ragan Knits etc... said...

You go Karen!
:-)

knitseashore said...

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. I will keep you all in my prayers too. Those are the scariest words, that you are out of options.

The A.D.D. Knitter said...

Really sorry to hear about your uncle. And I admire your perspective on the world so much!

Kathy said...

The gift of perspective is a good one. Still, you fight a hard battle and realistically that can be a big stress in your life. People who live with chronic illness and keep a happy perspecive (most days) are doubly gifted with insight.

Much love Karen.......

amandacathleen said...

so often we find ourselves looking at the negative sides of things, your right. We are lucky to have so many choices in our lives, even if our only choice is to live with whatever we have until it gets worse enough to treat. I'm so sorry to hear about your Uncle. ((hugs))

Heide said...

Your poor uncle! I hope you have a chance (if you already haven't) to tell him exactly how much he means to you. Hugs.

Katt said...

sometimes it takes the bad things in life of someone else for us to take a step back and see things arent so bad for ourselves.

i am sorry to hear about your uncle. i hope they can still find something to help him.

guiltypleasures said...

My fingers are crossed that your number comes back better than you expect.

I am so sincerely sorry about your uncle. I can't imagine how someone copes with something like this. I hope he finds strength to continue to fight and live life even though his body is giving up. So sad. I'm so sorry.

Kyle Kunnecke said...

while I'm not the expert, I am learning that sometimes the fight isn't always about what we think it is... sometimes, passing with dignity can be a brave choice... my Dad made that choice after his long battle with cancer - and while there was no other outcome for his situation as it neared the end, he chose to continue chemo and did whatever he could. In the end, I think it was actually the chemo that did him in - but he said he wasn't going to let cancer kill him....

My sister has diabetes and she fights constantly - I was with her when she was diagnosed - her levels were over 400 and she should have been dead.... she was in intensive care at the hospital when they told her... handed her the syringe, pre-loaded, and told her to inject herself. I sat with her while she held the needle in her hand and struggled with the reality. That was years ago - she's fighting, healthy and dealing with it as best she can. I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly measure, gauge, test, etc. - I'm proud of you though - and sometimes fighting the good fight means being inspirational for others.

I will say one more thing ... remember, we don't know what happens when we die... (not really, anyway) - some people have an idea, or they hope one thing or another happens... so when it's time, and our loved ones pass on, keep in mind that what happens after we pass away might (just might) be even more wonderful than we can imagine.... [that thought is what keeps me from falling apart with grief over dad and most recently my grandmother]...

give yourself a hug and be thankful you didn't have these battles 200 years ago... (yikes!)

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